What would you do in this situation?

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Christina Noraas

Christina Noraas

Christina
Joined
Sep 28, 2010
Messages
537
Location
Mc Grath, Minnesota
I've recently started talking again to a really good friend of mine, but we lost contact over the summer when I was sick and in the hospital for a while. So I decided to call him up and see what he's up too, and he tells me he found another girl that he really likes and such, and so on. So I asked who it was, and he told me it was a girl whom graduated from my school last year. I told him that I would be careful because she's a little promiscuous, which is a proven fact pictures, videos and all. :/

Anyways, I went on to ask him why he was in such a good mood that day and he told me that they had a sexual encounter; and I was totally blown away. Not only is she engaged she is also pregnant with her fiancé's child. I blew up on him, and told him that he's being an out right idiot fooling around with a girl who is not only engaged but also pregnant with another guy's kid! Not to mention her fiance is in the military... great girlfriend huh.

I'm not sure how to explain to him and talk him out of seeing her anymore, I don't want any one getting hurt when, Jake, her fiance gets home from leave and finds this all out. I have plenty of family in the military and I would not want any of them to come home and find out that your so called loving wife is cheating on you. Plus, it's not even like she hasn't seen him in months. I talked to her best friend who is also one of my best friends, she had just seen him within the last few weeks when she flew to the base he's at to visit.

Obviously, there are some serious things wrong with this whole situation. I just wanna know how any of you would react or respond to this.
 
hard call, I know you don't want your friend hurt but you don't need to get caught in his drama either......
 
I've removed my self from the situation when I got a nasty phone call the other night from him saying that I showed someone a text that he sent me saying that he had intercourse with her.

Which I found it funny because:
1.) I don't own a cell phone.
2.) He told me via phone call not texting.

I was just curious on how to even deal with knowing about this, I almost feel guilty about knowing about it and not doing anything, if that makes any sense. It's just hard to believe that people actually do this.
 
That is a bit of drama. I suppose I would try to get the girl to tell her fiance that she cheated on him. I mean I know it's not exactly like people want to come up to their loved ones and say that sort of thing, but, I mean, I sort of think, how much can you love someone if you're going to cheat on them? I always tell my boyfriends or whatever, I would rather they just break up with me than cheat on me. Cause if I find out they cheated on me (which I always do) they will no longer be my boyfriend. I think if someone really wants to be with me, they won't cheat on me. And I would want to know if I was away at war and the person I thought was "waiting for me" was cheating on me. Granted, even if you did suggest she tell him, I doubt she'd tell him, but that's just what I would do.

I probably would have done the same thing you did with the guy friend - blow up about the whole thing. I think a lot of people in today's world are very inconsiderate. To me, someone engaged is completely off limits. I cannot understand the rationale behind trying to "get with" them, so I think your friend deserved whatever you said to him.
 
I guess it's just me...but I would tell the fiance when he gets back from leave. Obviously the two fooling around do not care one bit about what they are doing. And quite honestly, if my boyfriend were cheating and one of the girl's friends knew about it and didn't tell me, I would be upset.
 
At least he can't get her pregnant...or at least not for another however many months.

I'd stay out of it completely, but that's just me. I don't like other people's secrets rattling around in my head and I HATE details about things like that. This friend of yours really needs to break it off with this girl, but that's up to him and you don't have to feel guilty for what he does.
 
I would say just stay out of it. If you have removed yourself from the situation as you said then do just that and not say anything. This girl is obviously not your friend from your rave reviews of her. And if you dont know the boyfriend than honestly its non of your business. This guy friend of yours Im sure knew what he was getting himself into. So no feelings to worry about on his side. With your comment of "he tells me he found another girl" sounds like you feel like you have been replaced and feel you need to step back in and get this girl out of the picture. Honestly if this is the kind of girl he wants to be with so be it. Let it alone and watch Jersey Shore or something.. I dont watch it but I hear there is enough drama on there to suit everyone. :)
 
Run! Run very fast! Don't waste your time getting in the middle of this. The messenger always gets blamed :)
 
If you haven't talked to him for such a long time, he must not be that great of a friend. I'd just tell him your don't need this drama in your life and please just leave you alone.

I too sensed the hint of a bit of jealousy or as if maybe you guys dated or something.

Politely excuse yourself from the circus before the tent falls down.
 
Melissa said:
With your comment of "he tells me he found another girl" sounds like you feel like you have been replaced and feel you need to step back in and get this girl out of the picture.
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What I meant by that is that he had broken up with his last girlfriend right before I went into the hospital. That's all. :]

I told him that I was done with it all today and not to talk to me any more until or if he learns how to grow up. And proceeded to delete and block from face book and such.
 
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christin.a.bnormal said:
I told him that I was done with it all today and not to talk to me any more until or if he learns how to grow up. And proceeded to delete and block from face book and such.
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You dont have to stop talking to this guy because he is having relations with this woman. If he is your friend, whether you agreed with the situation or not, you should still be friends with him. I dont like to smoke. Fine. Im not excluding people from my life who do smoke. I dont know it doesnt seem like we are getting the whole story here. If he was a FRIEND it should take a lot more than a sexual relationship to come between you. Honestly he isnt doing anything wrong. She is. She is still going to cheat with or without your friend. So if this is the best sex ever for him.. or mind blowing or what ever you said why deprive him of that.

I dont see why you cant still be friends with him. Just ask him to keep that part of his life separate from your friendship.
 
Melissa said:
You dont have to stop talking to this guy because he is having relations with this woman. If he is your friend, whether you agreed with the situation or not, you should still be friends with him. I dont like to smoke. Fine. Im not excluding people from my life who do smoke. I dont know it doesnt seem like we are getting the whole story here. If he was a FRIEND it should take a lot more than a sexual relationship to come between you. Honestly he isnt doing anything wrong. She is. She is still going to cheat with or without your friend. So if this is the best sex ever for him.. or mind blowing or what ever you said why deprive him of that.

I dont see why you cant still be friends with him. Just ask him to keep that part of his life separate from your friendship.
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There were other words said, that i'd rather not post on here.
 
Just stay out of it. Life's not worth it to have all of this drama in your life. Just makes things stressful and in the long run, really, its their lives.
 
It's hard sometimes to sit back and allow others to fail miserably around his. What's wrong with the situation is many things--first of all she is in the wrong to be involved with someone else after she promised her love and live to another. Second of all your friend is in the wrong to be involved with someone who is engaged to someone else. All that hogwash that men are powerless to remain thinking when faced with temptation is crap. They are both very weak individuals As for the advice about telling the girls fiance that I totally do not agree with. But would I would do is inform the girl she has so many days to tell her fiance about her behavior while he was away from her
 
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