What you expose YOUR children too...

[Christina Noraas]

Lately on the news or when ever I go on the Yahoo! home page there is something about how the shows on television are inappropriate or how actors/actresses who are suppose to be role models for little kids aren't being 'kid friendly' Miley Cyrus for example.

Example of shows on television not being appropriate, the new Glee magazine spread (http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/20/parents-television-council-finds-gq-glee-shoot-disturbing/)

(Boarder line pedophilia? You can defiantly tell those women are well over the age 18)
Yeah, it is a little skimpy; but we all know what sells. The guy who wrote the television show said that he never intended it to be a family show, it's the families a.k.a parents fault for allowing it to become that way. I personally have only seen a single episode, however my best friend watches it faithfully. In my opinion, if your going to allow your children to watch it, explain to them that it isn't real high school life and if the child who is watching it, is actually in high school they should already know that them selves. Glee is a television show set up in a high school setting and it's surrounded by sex, yeah it over dramatizes it but that's how you get a television show going with lots of hits. If it hadn't gotten any hits, there wouldn't be a next season coming out.

To me it seems like a lot of parents are putting too much trust in celebrities to be the role models. Why not someone in the community or hey how about the parent them selves. Celebrities are simply not the best choice to be expecting to be a good role model to children, they're whole life is fed by drama and sex filled experiences; whether it's a showy dress or a wild night out it's what keeps their career going. I understand that parent can't sensor 100% of what their kids are exposed to, but controlling your t.v. and your internet accesses is indeed in your control as a parent. Don't want them watching it at friends houses, tell the parent's that.

Another thing that got my goat a while ago was Miley Cyrus and her new 'ways', she's almost 18. I doubt she wants to continue living in the Disney life forever, she is going to want to expand her career. I started watching Hannah Montanna when I was like 13, same age she was when it started. She is of course going to try to keep up with the age group she started with, because it's the one she can relate to most. Not only that but I can also see why she's trying to be more like the older celebrities, she's been watching them from the front seat more than likely wondering what it's like. She's just like any other teenage girl, she wants to be able to experience the 'adult life' at least once whether or not that's how she's going to stay that way, she is going to want to at least have the experience and not keep wondering what it's like. Not to mention, her choreograph for her concert dance routines and music videos are not done by her, which I think a lot of people misunderstand. She does as she's told, because she knows all to well that is where the money is.

In that picture she reminds me of Katey Perry or Lady Gaga or Ke$ha. I highly doubt that she goes through the wardrobe that is picked out for her and picks each outfit saying "I'm going to make children try to dress like a street walker", I highly doubt that. Her producers and designers are trying to keep her up to speed to the top rated female artists out there, well maybe not top rated but the top noticed. All three of those women who I listed above are noted for their outrageous outfits and unique personalities. She's only trying to stay in the game.

However, when I look deeper into her career, the photo shoots that are greatly ignored by the press and every one else are actually really sweet, all american girl looking. You can just judge a celebrity by their music videos and a single photo shoot that you so happen to disagree upon. Even when they catch her on the streets and take random pictures, most of her outfits are really cute and I'd wear them, and my motto is to show as little skin as possible.

If you don't support Miley and what she's doing, stop buying her merchandise, stop watching her television shows; I don't see how hard that is. If your child is what 8 years old, all decked out in hannah merchandise and your standing not two feet away from them complaining to another friend about how she's been acting, who's the bad role model here. The celebrity who is only doing what they're told/need to do to get the publicity which basically makes up the career of a celebrity? Or the parent who even though so obviously despises them is still promoting them by buying their merchandise?

If your child is 8 years old you have a pretty full range of control over what they buy, what they watch on t.v. and everything else in their lives. However, when they're say 13-16 years old all you can really do is guide them. After your past 13 years of age, there isn't much more you can do other than make sure that they fully understand what is going on in the media and that they understand that it's not real or it's wrong; whether you like it or not as a parent as they get older they will chose the things that they like and the things that they don't like whether it conforms to your standards or not.

My opinion, don't blame the celebrities for doing what is their technically their job, getting their name out into the media as much as possible and doing what it takes to get their merchandise to sell. Don't like it, don't promote it. The less people promote the less views or scores they'll get, the less views or scores they get the less attention they get and people get bored which means that they'll have to change something if they want it to continue. The more the parent's council complains the more publicity the celebrities get meaning the more popular they get with the younger ages because they're name is out there that much more.

What ever happened to news that actually had some significance to it?

What do you think?

 

[GorillaJTA]

I think there is a lot of hypocrisy surrounding Miley because her father is famous. Britney Spears and Christina Aguilara were in more risque videos and more blatantly sexual at a younger age and there was not nearly the outcry because they were not as famous during the transition from the Mickey Mouse club to the limelight.
I personally don't think any of them -Gaga, Ke$ha, Miley, etc- have any more talent than some other girl's their age, they just have good agents that exploit their quirks and assets.
As for Glee... It is an adult High School Musical and I think it is contributing to the dumbing of culture everywhere.

 

[Christina Noraas]

As for Glee... It is an adult High School Musical and I think it is contributing to the dumbing of culture everywhere.

that made me smile.

 

[3CsMommy]

I agree that more parents need to realize they're supposed to be in control of that remote and what can/can't show up on their computer screens.

I also agree that the only way to change what sells is to stop buying what you don't like. (And it actually frightens me to see 14 and 15 year old girls in miniskirts and skin tight tank tops... and those were the cheer-leading uniforms.)

However, I've never purchased a single piece of Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera etc. merchandise, never will, and yet... there they are, all over what little television I watch and the few news feeds I read. If I hear one more thing about "poor Lindsey Lohan" I might scream...

It's difficult, if not impossible, to shut something completely away from an adult, let alone an eight year old who doesn't quite understand why it's forbidden to them; you're fighting a two sided battle there. Rather than a Bubble Child policy, I think it's more important to teach kids how to make good decisions. You can't control every moment of their lives from birth to that magic age 18 where all of a sudden they can legally vote, have sex, buy cigarettes, and suddenly have a mountain of new responsibilities (school or job related). Isolationism and prejudice are not good decisions; and if my own upbringing is any indication, they might just set the kid up to fail after that parental safety net is down.

Figuring out how to teach another human being how to say that "Thanks, but no" in unpredictable situations (real life middle school and high school, not the Degrasse and Glee versions of it) is the *really* hard part. That's part of why I don't plan to raise kids; in a lot of ways, I'm still figuring out myself.

 

[~SG~]

you see the problem is I DO control what goes on in my house, the sad part is the kids have to leave it from time to time...... School, to hang out with friends, their relatives, their dad...............

I'm sewing and have a on when my kids come in, I get up and turn it off. My oldest (11) starts complaining and I tell him that movie is not appropriate for him to watch and he informs me that it's the movie Troy (rated R) and he has already seen it while with his dads side of the family. (naked people, sex scenes not to mention the blood and killing) That was yesterday. I can go on and on with the examples but you get my point.

I can shelter my kids when they are in my home but sadly they have to live in the world today

 

[~SG~]

and don't get me started about how pissed I was when my kids come home from spending time with their dad singing "you make my head spin round when you go down, when you go down down" mind you the oldest is 11 again :banghead::realmad:

 

[CJR]

It seems that a lot of people are allowing the media/the public to raise their children for them. It's more than a little disturbing.

At the same time, I don't think that completely sheltering a child is the best way either. If I had kids, I would be honest with them and teach them about everything rather than just saying "this is bad" and leave it at that. I would encourage my children to come to me with questions, and I would answer them and be honest. At the same time, I would recognize that they have free will - but I would make sure that they know that they will have to deal with the consequences.

For instance, if I had a daughter who wanted to wear a miniskirt or a revealing top, I would not buy it for her. If she got a job and bought it using her own money, then I can't stop her. Just because a child is young does not mean that they can't make their own decisions.

As far as sex goes... I would educate my (theoretical) daughter about it and answer any questions she had. I'd make sure that she knew about proper contraception and STDs preventatives. I would also let her know that if she ever got pregnant, she would have to deal with the consequences. If she chose to get an abortion, that's fine - but I would probably make her pay for part of it, simply as a lesson. If she did not want to get an abortion, and she was younger than 18, I would have the baby adopted upon birth.

Actually, that raises an interesting question. If a minor has a child, can the minor's parents have the baby adopted out? Hmm.

What it comes down to is that I think that parents should offer their children love at every turn, but should not act as a complete and total safety net. I feel that too many people and parents are taking the falls for their children, and I feel that this is causing the children to feel "invincible"...

Sorry about the rant, but this is something that I feel very strongly about.

 

[GorillaJTA]

For instance, if I had a daughter who wanted to wear a miniskirt or a revealing top, I would not buy it for her. If she got a job and bought it using her own money, then I can't stop her. Just because a child is young does not mean that they can't make their own decisions.

Here I have to disagree. You can stop her, because ultimately, you should be the judge of what clothes are worn. The issue is not how they bought the clothes, but rather them wearing them. I had a lot more disposable income when I was young than I do now and if affording something made it acceptable, then I would have done a lot more things I shouldn't have. Telling them it is ok, as long as they buy it themselves is like telling them it is ok to eat until they are obese as long they can pay for the liposuction. The consequences are in the effects, not the cause.
I think this is another consequence of the starlet culture, underage movie stars getting smashed at clubs and becoming drug addicts because they have the money and prestige to get into the clubs tells kids that with money, age does not apply.

I am not even going to touch the abortion/adoption issue.

 

[~SG~]

ok well Ash, you don't have kids, I hope you have a change in your way of thinking when/if you do. I know myself it's a lot different BEING the parent then it was when I was THINKING about being a parent.

I strongly disagree, my 11 yr has money and there is NO WAY I'm going to let him buy what ever he wants with it. He picks out what he wears to school, but I choose what is in his closet.

like the above poster, I don't want to get banned from the forum so I am not touching the abortion / adoption part of your statement

:zipped:

 

[mishellyshel]

I can shelter my kids when they are in my home but sadly they have to live in the world today

this is very true. my step kids come over and tell my son they watch Halloween, Jason, Freddy. All rated R movies. Their mom lets them watch movies that portray violence & sex and then wonder why they get sent home from school for exposing themselves or cursing. mind you they are only 9 & 7.

one thing i alsways do now is BEFORE we even rent or watch a movie, I check IMDB.com and read teh parental warnings. if there are any "F" words or any nudity it isnt watched.
things like Transformers are "okay" since the language is not so bad but the skimpyness of megan fox makes me nervous.
also the influence in school is unavoidable. there is always some kid with an older brother or sister who teaches the younger ones stuff they do not need to know. my son comes home with words he doesnt even know the meaning of. and when i explain to him, sometimes it is difficult to find the correct words.

and while my son does have his own money, until he is old enough to drive, i will be the main source of transportation and if i dont approve, it doenst come home. that means NO mature video games, unless i read about it and no explicit lyrics, etc... i cant even imagine the struggles with fashion of havnig a girl!
at least boy stuff is just expensive. the girls clothing are so different these days!

 

[Christina Noraas]

Actually, that raises an interesting question. If a minor has a child, can the minor's parents have the baby adopted out?

If the child is proven to be unacceptable as a parent and are not suited for it, the parents of the minor parent can step in as a mediator and make decisions, or the court will.

Just to point out on how horrible teenage pregnancy is getting these days; my entire graduating class has a whole whopping 28 kids in it, we have 6 girls who had babies in the middle of our Junior year, that means that the girls in my class got pregnant towards the end of our Sophomore year , I'm kinda scared to see how many more end up with babies this year because generally you see kids having babies during their Senior year.

Back to the point, there was a girl in my class she had been drinking and doing drugs during the pregnancy, the parent's were acceptably pissed off and stepped in because I know here in MN just because a 15-16 year old has a baby doesn't mean that they technically have 'parental rights', they're just the biological parents, but most parents won't tear away the baby from their kid. My mom explained it to me because she had to be careful what she did after she had me until she turned 18 so I wouldn't have been taken charge by my grandparents or by the court.

However, there are a few girls in my class that should get their parental rights revoked, I'm surprised the baby is still alive.

I think parents are starting to become so much more lenient on teenage pregnancy, there are kids in my class where they're parents pay for everything. A couple in my class just had their parents buy them a house because they're parents didn't feel like dealing with them anymore... I can see not wanting to deal with it, but buy them a house, really? I think setting a deadline saying you get your act together by this time or your out, and if you don't have a place to stay the baby can stay here until you do find a place.

 

[tunes]

As for Glee... It is an adult High School Musical and I think it is contributing to the dumbing of culture everywhere.

Thank you. I'm an avid Glee watcher, as are tons of others here on the forum, and I'm pretty sure none of us are leaking out brain cells from watching a TV show.

For instance, if I had a daughter who wanted to wear a miniskirt or a revealing top, I would not buy it for her. If she got a job and bought it using her own money, then I can't stop her. Just because a child is young does not mean that they can't make their own decisions.

Bullcrap. If that's how you raise your kids then don't have any. The point to being a parent is to make the hard choices. If my daughter had come downstairs wearing a skirt that showed her underwear, that she bought with her own money, I would have marched her butt back upstairs and made her take it off, then taken the skirt. My kid KNEW what was acceptable dress wise, because that's how I raised her. With that thinking, if your child buys their own alcohol or drugs, it's okay because they paid for it?

SG - You nailed it. You can only control what goes on in your own home. Once they leave for the day you can't stop them from being exposed to whatever is out there. You can't even count on them being protected in school from being shot, kidnapped, bullied, or beaten to death.

To the OP, it's very 18-year-old and very naive to think that the parents are the SOLE contributors to a child's development. Ever hear the saying "It takes a village to raise a child?" I chose to move to the boondocks to get my kids away from gangs, drugs, violence, and guess what? It's just a different kind of crap here than it is elsewhere, but it's here. Sure, there's way less crime, way less issue with guns and violence. But there is horrific bullying because you weren't shot from South Dakota's loins when you were born and you aren't a member of the wealthy founding family in a small minded hick town (which is about the equivalent of ghetto folk back in Ohio money wise). You are belitted and thought of as an outsider, even after 12 years.

My kids have watched horror movies since they were little. We laughed at how stupid and unrealistic they are. My kids have watched movies with sex scenes. Each kid had a pillow. If an inappropriate scene was heading their way, I said "pillows up!" and up they went so they could see nothing and I muted it until the sex was over. The rest of the movie was great, why make them miss it? Violence? Welcome to the world we live in. If it was particularly violent then it was pillows up. If it was shooting and car chases - big deal. They see that on the news every day.

You cannot raise your kids in a vacuum, you cannot keep them in a glass bubble and protect them from everything. What you can do is teach them from the time they are coherent of right and wrong, appropriate and inappropriate, the values you want them to have. They are going to watch violent movies at their friends. IMO it's far better to teach them at home that it's "just a movie" or that the exaggerated goings on are "just a movie." My son listens to this God awful horrid screaming death metal crap that I detest. But he is a good kid who helps me any time I need him to, who is keeping his grades up, is involved in many extra curriculars, and who has a job. He's a kid, he's going through discovering what he likes and what he doesn't like. I complain about the screaming (I refuse to call it music) but some things are just a part of growing up, finding your niche, your own style, your own taste. If he was violent all the time or angry all the time, then yes, I'd put a stop to it while he was in my presence, but he's not so who is it hurting?

As far as the abortion issue - we are NOT going down that road. We do not discuss abortion, politics, or religious views on CnH, so I don't want to see it again or the thread will be deleted.

 

[Chinhuahuas]

I think there is a lot of hypocrisy surrounding Miley because her father is famous. Britney Spears and Christina Aguilara were in more risque videos and more blatantly sexual at a younger age and there was not nearly the outcry because they were not as famous during the transition from the Mickey Mouse club to the limelight.
I personally don't think any of them -Gaga, Ke$ha, Miley, etc- have any more talent than some other girl's their age, they just have good agents that exploit their quirks and assets.
As for Glee... It is an adult High School Musical and I think it is contributing to the dumbing of culture everywhere.

There was a *TON* of controversy and whatnot over Britney and Christina sexing things up! Everyone is pretty much over it now. Miley did start at a younger age than they did though, 'sexing it up' I mean. Nobody really saw Britney or Christina the way they did HANNAH MONTANA despite them being on the MMC. Hannah Montana is evvverywhere and beloved by every kid. What the heck is the Mickey Mouse Club? You know?

I do have an issue that her dad lets her do all this. Before she is 18 she is just a d@mn girl and what gives her the special right to dress like a slut? Her fame? Please. A 16 year old is a 16 year old is a 16 year old. AND A FATHER IS A FATHER IS A FATHER. Jesus.

Glee is a stupid show anyway, I don't anticipate my kids ever wanting to watch it. Granted, my oldest is only two.

Man I have been peeking at the rest of the replies down here before I respond and it's driving me crazy!! I don't know how much more I should say :hair:

 

[Christina Noraas]

this is very true. my step kids come over and tell my son they watch Halloween, Jason, Freddy. All rated R movies. Their mom lets them watch movies that portray violence & sex and then wonder why they get sent home from school for exposing themselves or cursing. mind you they are only 9 & 7.

Oh my, when I was 7 and 9 I got nightmares from Land Before Time movies. I'd hate to experience rated R movies.

I have two little siblings in the house and I just turned 17 this last spring, meaning I'm allowed to rent the rated R movies and go to rated R movies at the theater. My best friend and I are into the hold horror movies like The Shining and Children of the Corn, and we rent them from time to time and we generally watch them in the living room but if Clayton (2) or Carissa (8-9 months) come into the room we unhook the VCR or DVD player and go up stairs or something, same thing with the Xbox, but we don't really play violent video games, unless if you count Crash Bandicoot violent.

 

[Laurie]

Wow what a hot topic! First of all I don't watch Glee but I don't think those who do are dumbing the culture. It's a very popular show and the people I do know watch it love it. As for the photo spread--it's for GQ magazine and they have been known to be risque in the past. This is not a teen/pop magazine--it's a magazine not meant for children just like Penthouse, Playboy or Playgirl is not meant for children. While it's difficult with that show as it's about highschool kids, NONE of the people on the show are of high school age.

Sandi and I have often had the discussion of Miley Cyrus and while she is a young women in "real" years she is unfortunately not. Just like Drew Barrymore hollywood ages you long before your time. While Miley might have been 13 in real years due to her hollywood exposure add ten years in my opinion. So to see her want to branch out into the sexy seems like a natural thought progression for her and many others.

You can prevent your children from being exposed to many things, and yes as long as they are your children and living under your roof you provide for them and you have a say over them. Should a 12 year old have a cell phone? Really for what purpose? They don't need one, they probably shouldn't have one, but so many parents are buying cell phones for their young kids. My son did not have a cell phone until he was 16, and he only got one then because I took it from the stupid ahole boyfriend I had been paying for. My neice begged and begged and begged for a cell phone starting at age 12 because all her friends had one, she did get one on her 16th birthday. My nephew (her brother) got one at 15--my sister tried to reason it to you Alex and my neice said he should have one--he's in sports they need to pick him up and they should be able to reach him if they need too. But that's not the reason most parents get their kid a cell phone. They get them one because every other kid has one so the fall to peer pressure. Do I think 12 is way too young for one--yes! Do I think 16 isn't--no not really--they are driving so they should be able to call if something happens, but then again they shouldn't be calling or texting while first learning to drive.

I do believe children should be taught many things, I think they should be able to make their own decisions in life. Children should not simply be taught abstinence--we all know how well we listened to NO or don't do it when we were kids. But it bothers me to have so many posters refer to their daughters and knowing about sex and protection. Boys should be taught this as well--boys can get AIDS and STDS just like girls. A boy doesn't physically get pregnant but that baby is his and he and his family can be made to be responsible for that child.

And discussing girls dressed provacatively boys should be taught as well--tight jeans on a young boys butt entice girls just they same as a mini skirt on a girl entices a young boy. Should boys be allowed to go around dressing like Adam Lambert or Maxism what's his name with his navel constantly showing--probably not.

Unfortunately sex sells--I had this opinion of mature women showing their boobs at every chance they got--Halle Berry was my star of the moment and lots of mature forum members say their gladly show their boobs--but I don't think you need to be doing that when you have young children--I don't need to see my moms boobs just like I don't need to see my dads member. Most people grow up and say OMG I never saw my dad naked--well then mom's don't be shoving your cleaveage in your kids' faces either. If you want to dress that way fine--cover it up til your away from your young and impressionable children IMO.

While it is a parents responsiblity to teach their children right and wrong, the bottom line is ultimately it is the decision of the child. There comes a point in life where you do know the difference between right and wrong and you need to be responsible for that. We can't always blame parents for everything--Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer had normal childhoods--they became heinous monsters--rather they were born that way, despite the teachings and efforts of their parents. Many serial killers had decent childhoods so you can't blame a parent for their actions.

I think the message always lies with self esteem. I honestly believe many young girls get pregnant because of self esteem issues. When you are a young girl you are highly emotional and fragile. Hearing some boy take advantage of that by saying you are skinny and beautiful when in your heart you don't feel you are often leads a young girl into a bad place. Bad because they boy is able to control her by feeding on her self esteem issues. You would if you loved me--man that line should be illegal to use--but many, many times that line is used by boys and girls and men and women alike.

If we taught better self esteem, if we had better self esteem then perhaps many of these issues would go away. You wouldn't have to flaunt your body because you would know and believe you look good in a gunny sack. And you would know you would if you loved me is a piece of crap!

 

[mishellyshel]

My kids have watched horror movies since they were little. We laughed at how stupid and unrealistic they are. My kids have watched movies with sex scenes. Each kid had a pillow. If an inappropriate scene was heading their way, I said "pillows up!" and up they went so they could see nothing and I muted it until the sex was over. The rest of the movie was great, why make them miss it? Violence? Welcome to the world we live in. If it was particularly violent then it was pillows up. If it was shooting and car chases - big deal. They see that on the news every day.

thats why i check IMDB. because sometimes it is just one small scene and we do earmuffs but i will have to try the pillow thing. my son wants to watch "children of the corn" this weekend. it was made so long ago when an R rating is really just a PG 13 now adays.
my son is only 9, so i dont know what he is going to be like in a few years when his music and clothing tastes start to mature. and i dont know exactly what i would do at that point. but for right now, its my house, my rules!

 

[GorillaJTA]

If we taught better self esteem, if we had better self esteem then perhaps many of these issues would go away. You wouldn't have to flaunt your body because you would know and believe you look good in a gunny sack. And you would know you would if you loved me is a piece of crap!

I think the "self-esteem movement" is part of the problem. Kids are entirely too convinced in their own indestructibility and perfection because, from day 1 of preschool, they are told that they are perfect and if they mess up they can just try again, and that no one is better, smarter, or more athletic. They don't learn until it is too late that there are some things you can't undo. Kids 60 years ago were expected to face reality and work for what they wanted as a teenager, and now we have 25 year olds who have never held a job or a position of responsibility. Expose them to real life earlier, make them get a job to afford things, and let them fail early, and they will learn that life has consequences.

 

[3CsMommy]

I think the "self-esteem movement" is part of the problem. Kids are entirely too convinced in their own indestructibility and perfection ... and now we have 25 year olds who have never held a job or a position of responsibility. Expose them to real life earlier, make them get a job to afford things, and let them fail early, and they will learn that life has consequences.

I have to agree with this, if only because institutionalized self-esteem exercises set a bad standard. Rather than the children being on a pedestal before worshipful adults bolstering their fragile self-worth with a "nobody fails" system (like what I've seen in my "nephew's" preschools), they need to be taught to respect *each other* while learning that there's always going to be an adult/another person "in charge" (as in a work environment) to whom they have to listen. If the teachers, aides, and parents that are supposed to be authority figures are all telling little Alex how perfect and special he is even when his temper tantrums hurt and frighten other students, it sets the precedent for every child to be the king/queen of their own little island and do whatever they want.

And then those little rulers get their first customer service job, mouth off at managers/customers or refuse to do something "gross", get fired, and go home complaining that the stupid manager is mean and doesn't understand how special they are.

I don't think it needs to be about teaching self-esteem; what I see lacking is self-respect and respect for others. It's to the point that I'm shocked when a person under the age of 22 comes into the store where I work and conducts a polite transaction with me. At best, the middle and high school aged kids ignore me entirely. At worst, I had one try to shoplift right in front of me and tell me "Even if I did, you can't do anything about it." He apparently thinks a letterman jacket, muscles, and a snotty attitude are what he needs to get through life successfully. And until he's proven wrong, he'll keep being a mouthy, arrogant jerk to whomever he thinks will tolerate the selfishness from him.

 

[soysauce]

I dont have children nor want them for a loong time, but i do believe that it is important to set up boundaries for your children. Tell them what is right and wrong, that you love them, and provide all that you can for them. There is never going to be a way to completely control what your child is exposed to. Fundamentally what all parents need to do regardless of the type of parent or situation they are in is to provide a place for their child to feel safe and provide answers to all of their questions, regardless of the subject matter.

As far as I can tell society as a whole is reverting to a more childish version filled with fanciful and delusional dreams, along with no respect for others. It makes me sad to think about this, but one day my mom told me and my brother "I am sorry for the world you have grown up in... this is not the world that I had imagined for you". And when she said this we were having a conversation about politics and the social status of the US.

My parents moved me and my bro out to the boonies when I was three and we lived there for 10 years until we had to move. This experience like Tunes has said moves you away from the busy city and everything that comes from it. Regardless of the fact that I grew up out in the boonies my parents realized that teaching moral lessons and explaining what is right and wrong to both of us was more important than what was on tv or in video games. I can see a stark contrast between the pov that me and my brother have versus my friends that have grown up within the city.

Self-esteem should partly come from within the child and partly from the parents. I think that it should be the parents job to shape the child's self-esteem. Sure the parents cannot ultimately choose the self-esteem of their child. With sex and violence plastered all over the media I commend the parents that can keep the damage done to their child under control.

 

[Bostongirl'sChin75]

I am going to go WAYYY out on a limb here and address the issue of the abortion/adoption: A parent can go to court and try and have their child's rights taken away, but ultimately the decision will be that it is her body and a child over the age of 14 does not have to her parents permission to abort, adopt or raise the child. but IMO, if you have a girl 12, 13 or 14 getting pregnant, then something went wrong somewhere in their short life. But that is all I am going to say on that issue.

But this is a good topic and one that makes me get down and thank God that I have all boys and no girls. I used to regret not having one more baby, just to see if I could get a girl out of it, but looking at how sexed up our culture has become, especially for girls, and I am thankful I do not have to deal with those types of issues, at least directly.
I do have to deal with them indirectly though and I am dreading the day my 15 year old brings home his girlfriend that has more piercings and tattoos than I do and swears like the sailor I am married to, and walks in my door wearing a micro-mini skirt with a halter top and 4 inch stripper heels. As it is, I have had to tell a girl in the neighborhood to go home and put on some decent clothes because of how she was dressed, before she could come over and hang out with my 13 year old.

Miley, Christina, and Brittney and Lindsay are all victims of a society that thrives on the images of young girls in skimpy outfits, shaking their stuff for everyone to see and screaming for more and more of it. But most importantly they are victims of their parents, who were blinded by the fame and the glitter to care about what the long term effects may be on these children. Look at Lindsay, in and out of rehab and jail for drug and alcohol problems. Britteny has mental problems that have caused her to lose custody of her children so many times, and all because her mom kept pushing her into the glitzy lifestyle of Hollywood and LA. The same can be said for Miley and all the others out there as well. Give it time and we shall be seeing Lindsay replaced by Miley in all the stories about jail, rehab and drug problems.
It is up to the parents to teach their children about what is proper and not proper behavior but eventually they have to leave the nest and if they do not have the right tools to do so and prosper as adults, than they will fall victim to life and all the absurdities that come with it.