The problem is you can tell your kids what is wrong and what is right, but there really isn't a way to make them understand that until they are able to grasp it. They have to pretty much get it on their own, so when they are young they're just going through the motions and it means nothing to them. People can say that all they need to do is instill good values in their kids, but those lessons are wasted if a child can't comprehend them. At this point, I can see the attraction of sheltering. I'll make their world simple and clear until they can deal with the outside world. I get it, makes some sense. Except like someone said, you can't actually do that. Kids leave the house. So at some time, in order to properly educate them about the things they see out there, you have to acknowledge it with them. It's a delicate thing to recognize when that point comes. I do agree that some parents wait too long to try to explain things. I mean, my god, if I had enough insight to figure out on my own that while it made me feel unwanted to know other people (mostly peers in school) thought I was superficially inferior to them, they were looking for validation based on aspects of themselves that held no genuine importance, it definitely would have buffered the excruciating pain of middle and high school. No one explicitly explained that to me. Everyone said I would feel differently when I was older, and I do, but I might have understood it then had someone taken the time.
You tell your child they are perfect, no one is better than them and then they get to middle school and high school where everyone thinks that. Suddenly they see that they aren't the most attractive or smartest and they are told they're worthless and they believe it. They have to succeed and get a job because that's what life is. And if someone doesn't write a certain letter or number on a certain piece of paper then they're a failure. It isn't either being coddled when they're young or belittled when they're older; it's the meeting of the two. It's abrasive and incredibly confusing. If both those stages were muted a bit I think we'd have more well adjusted people.
My parents started out raising my brother and I relatively the same. My brother is four years older and is like Peggy's son: listens to bad music, but has always been very nice to everyone including my parents. I was not. And my parents tried to change their ways to raise me well but they weren't sure what to do all the time. They would get quite frustrated and make mistakes but they tried very hard. I remember my mom looking at me, with pain in her eyes, telling me she didn't know how to help me, how to give me the guidance I needed. She wanted to be a good parent and fix me but she couldn't at that moment. I don't really think it would have been possible for her to. And this is the dilemma a lot of parents are faced with. Parents aren't omnipotent, and they aren't right all the time. But you do what you think is the best option at the time. There is no set way to parent every child, since every child is different and will react differently. And you can't really mold them to make sure they never get hurt.
Parenting (at least with human kids), seems to me a complex science that I am unsure I could ever figure out. These are my opinions from the opposite end of the spectrum, as a child.
