my grandpa update.

[guiltyby_design]

as some of you know from my post's before my grandpa has a rare cancer in his liver and his lung.
well now he has bone cancer as well. 2 spots in his head and on his shoulder and im not sure if there are any other places.
and on top of that, he now has a hernia (this is the 2nd one) and its about to burst but the doctor wont do surgery on it until the 26th of this month because he is on kemo.
and swine flu is now in my county and he was at general surgery yesterday which is right across the hall from the childrens doctor where they have seen 5 cases of swin flu in 4 days. im freaking out. and this is just getting so hard. My grandpa is everything to me, and i keep praying that he is going to be okay, and i just don;'t see any improvment. and i hate myself because im mad at God for all this.
Im just so scared.
and i thought i would update everyone on how he was doing. and i wish i could have gave good news. =[

:cry3:​

Thanks to everyone who has been there for me since this started. you guys are angels. and i don't know what i would do with out you.

 

[AZChins]

Awww...sweety. I'm so sorry to hear this. Everything works how it's supposed to work out. It's hard because in life everything has to hit us all at once and leave us confused and angry.

I'm not going to tell you to relax..that doesn't work. You're going to be upset and emotional about it no matter what. You go ahead and be emotional and don't give any thought to anyone that tells you that you're overreacting or tells you to calm down. The healthiest thing is to feel what you are feeling and don't try to feel how you think everyone wants you to feel.

The only thing that every made me feel better was to tell myself that everything was going to be alright no matter what happened. I've lost my father, my grandparents, my cousin, some of my precious chins and so much else that it isn't even worth mentioning. I'm still here, everything is okay...I'm just slightly more neurotic than I was before, but I can always blame that on getting older so it all works out in the end.

I wish you had good news, too...I love good news. You do have people, who love you and care about you very much...cherish those people because they will get you through all the tough times in life when you don't have the strength to make it yourself.

 

[Laurie]

It's okay to be scared and angry with God. God never deserts us. I know how much your grandpa means to you, and I know how difficult this is for you, believe me I know. The most important thing you can do right now is just be with him as much as you can.

 

[6Dusters]

Stay strong for your grandfather and may God work his wonders through him regardless of the outcome. He loves all of us. Even my little baby who passed away. My heart is comforted knowing my little one is safe and loved until I pass away. Hugs.

 

[jmdebb]

I'm so sorry for all your grandfathers health issues and everything else going on. It does really stink when so many things bad happen at once, and it does so much.

I think it's okay to be mad at GOD, I get mad at him sometimes to, then I feel bad that he will hate me, but then I say to myself, I don't think he will really be mad because I'm sure he understands and knows that we do love him, it's just that when bad things happen for some reason we blame him.

SOUnds like it's going to be a long rough journey for you, and it will probably get worse before it gets better. And no one can take away your pain, only time can. So you go and cry, vent or do whatever you need to do to help ease the pain. Alot of times for me, a good cry helps.

Know that we are here for you, and I'm very sorry you are going threw all this grief.

 

[Chinniechantel]

I am so sorry, there is no easy way to deal with cancer. I will keep him in my prayers, and I know all too well the anger and questions you feel toward God when things like that happen. It will pass and you will realize God does not do this to us, but lets things happen so we all have the gift of free will and not being robots. Remember how short this life on earth is and that you will get to spend all of eternity with him, no matter what happens.