I was angry at my best friend, now I'm incredibly sad.

[ReneeM]

Within the past three weeks I have lost two dogs. One due to cancer, and one to kidney failure. I had one 13 years and the other nine days. I lost my rescue dog last Sunday.

I had texted my friend the day before euthanizing my dog, saying I needed to talk. I had even tried to call her, she said she was with family and couldn't talk. Even after losing my dog on Sunday she did not return my calls, until Wed. And only after my fourth attempt to call her ( after a text from her she would call me that evening).

I was overwhelmed when I finally reached her, and told her how betrayed I felt. I have always been there for her. If she post she is upset on Facebook I call her. I can't even remember all the times in the past years I have been there for her. Through her divorce and fights with her boyfriend, and family problems, I have always been there.

Ive helped her move and set up her classroom.

She claimed she was busy, dealing with her own issues. I understand she was busy, but she couldn't spare a few moments to call me, to make sure I was okay? She had left a message on Facebook under my post about my dog, saying she had supported me that way. She told me she wanted to give me space, because that is how she handled things when she got upset. I told her after over ten years of friendship she should know I seek support of others around me.

I told her I forgave her, and thought I had.

We hung out last night. I wanted to talk about the loss of my dog's. I asked her how she would feel if her dog passed, or if it would be hard to adopt a dog of the same breed in the future.

She got irritated with me and snapped at me. She didn't want to think about it. It upset her. I actually began to cry, but lied and said I missed my dog. I cried a good 3-4 mins. She said nothing, only asked if I was mad at her. It ruined the night for me.

We have been friends Since high school, over ten years. I can honestly say this whole thing makes me rethink things.

My mom recently lost her best friend of almost 30 years, I'm beginning to understand.

I feel betrayed and belittled. I can be there for her, but she can't be there for me?

I've been crying off and on for a week. I needed her. She was not there for me.

 

[Caroline]

Big hugs. It is so hard to have to go through losses smd even harder to go it alone. Been there and done that

 

[addictedtochins]

I wouldn't do anything over one incident, she said she prefers to be alone when something is happening to her, and she did say she was going through something. Good friends are very hard to find, give her a "free pass" But, if you two continue to drift apart over the weeks and months......well, then it's meant to be

 

[Riven]

I personally think you're being way to hard on her. Everyone deals with things differently, perhaps she doesn't understand your pain because she doesn't have the same kind of attachments to animals. Maybe she just doesn't know how to comfort you, not that it's your fault, but maybe she doesn't know how to comfort anyone.

I know this is hard, all of it, but what I've learned in life is that if you learn to rely on other people to help make you happy or relieve your pain, you will be let down every time. Not because they don't know how, but because those are things that only you can do. Perhaps hanging out with you is the most she can offer to you at this time, maybe that's all she knows how to do to help you. This is not saying she's not a good friend, but that she can not fulfill that area of need for you. It would be silly to toss away an otherwise good friend over one flaw. I don't know how she feels about animals and such, but some people simply do not understand. She may silently be thinking that she would love to say "it's just a dog". Also what things was she dealing with? Sometimes when you are so wrapped up in what you're dealing with it is hard to be there for others. Has she helped you through hard times in the past? If so was her support adequate then? Take a step back before you make any decisions that you might regret later.

 

[chinnmyheart]

I am so sorry! I think that the case she doesn't understand your pain. And doesn't feel comfortable talking about it.

It good to have a variety of friends because each one can give you the support you need in a different situations. Some wld good to come for comfort others there for advice etc. I learn this the hard way I to lean on one friend eventually it was just to much for her.

Anyways I wish I cld give u my shoulder to cry on. I really do. I know how it feels to have pets die in front of u. If do need someone u can msg me any time

 

[beemarie]

I think you're being a little hard on her because you are upset. She might not feel the same way towards animals or whatever her reason is.

I know how you feel. When I had to put my cat down and then i lost my chinchilla two days later. I was a wreck. crying over the silliest of things or nothing at all. I have my five friends after i decided to put my cat down and all they could say was I'm sorry. or It will be okay but no one was there for me. no one asked me how i was feeling the next day or the day after and yes i was hurt. Not even my best friend was there for me. when i was loosing my chin, she called me for five mins and that was that. i was hurt but i forgave her because I know she was there for me at other times. I had to realize none of my friends really ever had connections to animals like I do.

You just have to think about all those times she was there for you in the past when you needed her. and ask yourself if it's worth loosing a friendship over this one time. I know you are hurt because you lost your pets/bestfriend/child. but thats what this site is for. people who love their pets so much. yes we cant hug you but we can support you and help you though this time because we can connect with you about losing an animal. some people can not connect that way they just dont have it in them.

Sorry about the novel.