Gift for a 2nd wedding?

[Jenn]

I am attending my cousin's wedding on Saturday, and I'm not sure if I am expected to provide a gift as this is her second wedding. I never attended her first wedding and she was out of the state until recently and I have only seen her a couple of times since her return.

What is the etiquette for a second wedding? Should I provide a gift, and if so, would a gift card be ok?

 

[DianKS]

Gift

:hmm::hmm:Yes , if you attend you should give a gift that if you can afford it will at least be equal to the cost of your meal. 25 years ago it cost $55.00 a person for my wedding reception with a sit down dinner. It would be more now but in a small town or for a buffet less. If you don't go to the wedding a card would be fine but a gift card will always be appreciated. My brother in law recently remarried and requested no gifts because at 55 and 48 he and his fiancé' both had established households. We gave them an inexpensive gift that had meaning (a mini banjo that played a country tune) since my B-I-Law plays in a blue grass band.

 

[mercynursie]

A gift card would be good.When I got married at age 32 it was my first and last ever wedding but my husband's second.We both had household stuff but he and his daughter had been baching it for quite some time.My sister covertly let folks know we needed things like twin sheets(for our daughter),extra everyday dishes(I lived alone) but the gift cards for favorite places to eat and grocery gift card were very much appreciated when we finally got all 3 of us into a family!

 

[Jenn]

:hmm::hmm:Yes , if you attend you should give a gift that if you can afford it will at least be equal to the cost of your meal. 25 years ago it cost $55.00 a person for my wedding reception with a sit down dinner. It would be more now but in a small town or for a buffet less. If you don't go to the wedding a card would be fine but a gift card will always be appreciated. My brother in law recently remarried and requested no gifts because at 55 and 48 he and his fiancé' both had established households. We gave them an inexpensive gift that had meaning (a mini banjo that played a country tune) since my B-I-Law plays in a blue grass band.

They are not offering a meal, just ice cream following the wedding.

 

[tunes]

I don't know of anybody who expects you to give a gift equal to the meal, nor do I know of anybody who spends $55.00 per person for food! Most people try to keep it down as much as possible because nobody could afford that kind of dinner, especially in today's economy. If your dinner was $55.00 per person 25 years ago, I can't even imagine what what was served. Wow.

Jenn - I would say maybe a small gift card, as suggested above. By the second wedding, should not be expecting much of anything as you should pretty much have everything you need.

 

[Riven]

We served prime rib and our mean cost about $12 per person almost 6 years ago.

Being that's they should have everything for the household I would not expect to give a gift really unless there is something that you want to give them that would be especially important to them. For example if you know she collects some sort of figurine, get them one of a wedding style, etc. The idea of wedding gifts is to help the new couple set up a new household. I'd go sentimental for a second wedding.

 

[Jenn]

I was thinking a $25 gift certificate of some sort. I know that doesn't sound like a whole lot, but I do have to be careful about how much I spend, and since nothing is being offered but ice cream, I'm hoping this amount would be considered ok. I don't know what would be considered sentimental between them, but I'll try to think of a store or location that would offer a meaningful gift card.

 

[Riven]

I'd make them up a little sundae kit! Get 4 sundae dishes and a couple toppings, shouldn't cost more than $20 and it would be a reminder of their wedding! Otherwise I think a $25 certificate is more than considerate since it's not a close family member you're always in touch with or anything like that.

 

[Jenn]

I ended up getting a $25 Day Spa gift certificate. Maybe something nice for them once the craziness of the wedding is over. Thank you so much for everyone's suggestions. You were a great help!

 

[addictedtochins]

I was thinking you could re-gift a certain little feathered friend. Everybody needs a alarm clock

 

[Jenn]

Theresa, that would have been a perfect gift...at least for me! I don't think the newly married couple would be so appreciative, though!

 

[DianKS]

wedding dinner

Yes, you gave a great gift, especially since they are just serving ice cream. Growing up as a Navy kid I had to take etiquette classes and that is where I learned about gifting. My mom also worked as a White House volunteer for Nancy Reagan and Laura Bush sending out cards answering phones and wrapping gifts. She taught me a lot about how to pick out something a person will appreciate. My wedding meal was 4 courses with Filet Mignon as the entree. The price included the rental of the Mclean Hilton ballroom for the reception as well as a discount on rooms to house all the wedding party. It was indeed extravagant considering I am a Tomboy who had to be bribed to wear heels and wish to this day I had refused since they hurt so much. I was 29 years old and my mom was so delighted that I was "finally" marrying that she had fun setting up my wedding. I think the celebration is for the family so other than choosing the food, I let her plan the wedding. My Dad's business was doing well and I am her only daughter so she spent what she wanted. I remember being shocked that the cake cost $800.00. I spend $30.00 on an ice cream cake now for my kids and think it's a lot. My mom is 82 now and doesn't spend much on anything except home improvements and she still talks about our wedding which was Oct 10th, 1987!

 

[mercynursie]

LOL! I really ticked a person off one day when they asked me about suggestions for their fifteen year old daughter a wedding present ( she completely approved of the marriage since they were both so "mature and responsible").Good grief give me a break they are still babies and we know what comes next if not already. I looked her straight in the eye and told her "Mirena,you know the implantable IUD that prevents pregnancy,would be really well appreciated by a mature and responsible soon to be wed at such a young age couple! Needless to say she didn't speak to me for quite awhile,at least not until she came back to me and said she wished that she had listened to me.GASP!The responsible young couple never married,girl got preggers with twins and after born she ran away.Now grandma is momma to twins who unfortunately were born with alot of medical problems.