SusieJJ
chinnies215
what are your thoughts of getting a pet when one homeowner wants one and the other doesn't?
compromising on getting pets
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Ash
Trouble....
Consider why the other person doesn't want to add to the family. Is it simply a type of pet the other doesn't like? Or does the other feel you're maxed out?
If it's something like the first, I'd be willing to talk about a different option in pets, if it's "too many", well maybe they're right. Someone has to be the voice of reason. When living with another person, it's not only your own comfortability to consider.
Then again, with my bf, I'm sure it'd be something along the lines of "Well, if I can get this, you can get another gun..." Lol
If it's something like the first, I'd be willing to talk about a different option in pets, if it's "too many", well maybe they're right. Someone has to be the voice of reason. When living with another person, it's not only your own comfortability to consider.
Then again, with my bf, I'm sure it'd be something along the lines of "Well, if I can get this, you can get another gun..." Lol
ABBY W.
Well-known member
My husband doesn't like having animals in the house, so I have a pet room. I can have as many of any kind of pet I want, so long as I feel they can live comfortably in that room, and they don't come into the rest of the house. It seems to work pretty well.
chinsNdobermans
Humble Acres Chinchillas
My husband is my voice of reason. I always listen to his reasons for not wanting an animal and if it is just because he doesn't know that much about them/not sure he'd like them, I research and we make a decision together.
If he says we have too many of something - usually cats - then we just don't get another.
If he says we have too many of something - usually cats - then we just don't get another.
SusieJJ
chinnies215
my bf grew up in a house where the 2 cats and 1 dog weren't properly cared for. not fed regularly, locked in rooms so they had no choice but to pee/poo in them. he doesn't want pets because he says they're gross. they're only gross when you put them in that situation. i don't know what to do 
i'll always feel something is missing if i dont get a cat or dog.
i'll always feel something is missing if i dont get a cat or dog.
InkedupTara
Do the chinny shuffle!
I think in that situation you are sort of stuck. Because you can live with out them but it seems as though he CANT live with them.
3CsMommy
My babies Rock!
SusieJJ-- since that's his reason, it's time to hit him with research, while also looking for cleaner pets that he won't be as negatively familiar with... assuming you have the time and resources for it. Obviously chins aren't the cleanest pets around, even with shelf guards and plastic mats over the carpet.
A good start might be a Leopard Gecko, which would need a small to medium-sized fish tank (10 to 20 gallon), but except for playtime and handling purposes, stays in there. Their waste needs spot cleaned as soon as you see it, but there shouldn't be any odor, and you can use paper towels as bedding, which makes it even easier to keep clean and tidy. (Generally speaking, reptiles are some of the cleanest pets out there when properly kept, and some like Bearded Dragons, have a lot of personality.)
That said, would you be willing to foster a cat or dog for a local rescue? That way your boyfriend can see first-hand what keeping one of them properly requires, and learn that they're not disgusting creatures that pee/poo everywhere when their needs are made a priority.
That way, if he decides that he really doesn't want to live with one full-time, you can still have a companion animal around occasionally, and give love and care to an animal that needs you. Just... don't take the pregnant ones. Having kittens around is *never* a clean proposition.
A good start might be a Leopard Gecko, which would need a small to medium-sized fish tank (10 to 20 gallon), but except for playtime and handling purposes, stays in there. Their waste needs spot cleaned as soon as you see it, but there shouldn't be any odor, and you can use paper towels as bedding, which makes it even easier to keep clean and tidy. (Generally speaking, reptiles are some of the cleanest pets out there when properly kept, and some like Bearded Dragons, have a lot of personality.)
That said, would you be willing to foster a cat or dog for a local rescue? That way your boyfriend can see first-hand what keeping one of them properly requires, and learn that they're not disgusting creatures that pee/poo everywhere when their needs are made a priority.
That way, if he decides that he really doesn't want to live with one full-time, you can still have a companion animal around occasionally, and give love and care to an animal that needs you. Just... don't take the pregnant ones. Having kittens around is *never* a clean proposition.
Angelwings0311
New member
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2009
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My mom never wanted any pets, she said that she was allergic to them. All we ever had were fish, hmm, so I guess we did have pets. Anyway, my dad and I really wanted a dog and it took 2 years to finally get her to say yes. She has alot on her plate and she is also getting allergy shots once a week. My chin doesn't bother her tho.
WEFA_in_Me
Chinchillaholic
When I got my chin, I told my boyfriend I wanted a pet, we discussed it and our options. We brought his Mom into the picture discussing if we could have something in our room. (we pay rent to his parents for the time being till I get a car and apartment, since I just moved to the state.) We have 2 outside cats, and dogs were out of the question. So I told him of chinchillas and we researched them and birds. Certain birds were too noisy, or expensive, but chins were just so cute and not loud. I was looking at different places to get one, and then a craigslist ad jumped out at me, and I showed him the picture. Though it was me who wanted the pet, he had to convince me it was okay to pay 200 and bring him into our home. We decided together.
On the otherhand, his brother's girlfriend did the opposite, just yesterday. She was out with Mom and said she just wanted to look at petco while they were having an adoption day. Next thing she was in the car with a boxed cat. Now please note, she discussed it with no one, shes living in our grarage, and is pregnant, due in December! I worry about the new kitty, but can't say anything besides I cant believe she did that with out discussing with anyone of the 7 people living here.
On the otherhand, his brother's girlfriend did the opposite, just yesterday. She was out with Mom and said she just wanted to look at petco while they were having an adoption day. Next thing she was in the car with a boxed cat. Now please note, she discussed it with no one, shes living in our grarage, and is pregnant, due in December! I worry about the new kitty, but can't say anything besides I cant believe she did that with out discussing with anyone of the 7 people living here.
greychins
NWI Chinchillas
I think it depends what type of pet it is. I mean, a chinchilla (or several) or caged pets can all be kept in one room with the door shut if one person doesn't want the pet. On the other hand, if one person wants a dog/cat and the other doesn't... well the other's gonna have to actually live with the pet so I think that's different.
I think the best way is to reach some sort of compromise. Maybe that's not possible in every situation, but in some I think it is. A good example - Now, I live by myself and pay for everything, but at one point, I was living in an apartment where my parents were paying my rent (I was paying bills and everything else, but my $8/hr job for 15 hours a week wasn't paying for my rent)... my parents were saying no more pets but I wanted to get my dog... and we came to the agreement that I could get my dog if I somehow lessened the "pet load." I ended up re-homing my rabbit, my degus, and some long-standing rescues (chins) that I had just been slacking on working to find homes for... and everything was fine. With the amount of animals I had, I actually agreed that it was better to find these guys homes anyway, cause I was slacking on giving them all individual attention. But point being, like if the number of animals maybe is getting too much, maybe some agreement can be made to work things out. I suppose this isn't a good argument if you have 24 chins and wanna make it 25, but I suppose it works fine if you want to get a dog or cat and could live without your fishtank or small animal(s) because you'd rather have the dog/cat.
If he thinks that cats/dogs are messy (I just read the above posts, sorry), then maybe try adopting a grown dog/cat that is already housetrained and everything. I wouldn't suggest getting a puppy as that's only going to reaffirm his conviction that they're messy. But if you get one that's already housetrained and knows how to let you know that they have to go, then they're pretty clean (minus the shedding of course). I even like the idea above, about fostering. That way, you don't have the animal forever, and I was just looking to foster, and one of the places I looked at said that if for some reason you couldn't foster any longer and they had to take the dog back, that was fine... I don't know if a lot of places are like that, but I think that's a good way to "try out" a dog or a cat...
I think the best way is to reach some sort of compromise. Maybe that's not possible in every situation, but in some I think it is. A good example - Now, I live by myself and pay for everything, but at one point, I was living in an apartment where my parents were paying my rent (I was paying bills and everything else, but my $8/hr job for 15 hours a week wasn't paying for my rent)... my parents were saying no more pets but I wanted to get my dog... and we came to the agreement that I could get my dog if I somehow lessened the "pet load." I ended up re-homing my rabbit, my degus, and some long-standing rescues (chins) that I had just been slacking on working to find homes for... and everything was fine. With the amount of animals I had, I actually agreed that it was better to find these guys homes anyway, cause I was slacking on giving them all individual attention. But point being, like if the number of animals maybe is getting too much, maybe some agreement can be made to work things out. I suppose this isn't a good argument if you have 24 chins and wanna make it 25, but I suppose it works fine if you want to get a dog or cat and could live without your fishtank or small animal(s) because you'd rather have the dog/cat.
If he thinks that cats/dogs are messy (I just read the above posts, sorry), then maybe try adopting a grown dog/cat that is already housetrained and everything. I wouldn't suggest getting a puppy as that's only going to reaffirm his conviction that they're messy. But if you get one that's already housetrained and knows how to let you know that they have to go, then they're pretty clean (minus the shedding of course). I even like the idea above, about fostering. That way, you don't have the animal forever, and I was just looking to foster, and one of the places I looked at said that if for some reason you couldn't foster any longer and they had to take the dog back, that was fine... I don't know if a lot of places are like that, but I think that's a good way to "try out" a dog or a cat...
arf2184
Well-known member
I really don't like the suggestion of trading one or several pets for another...if you don't have time or space for one, you don't have time or space for the other. Also, they're living beings...you don't ship one kid off to live with someone else because you'd rather have the new baby.
I do like the fostering idea. If you are in a situation where you can foster a dog or cat, it would be a great opportunity to show your boyfriend that they can be clean and fun to have around. If he still won't go for it, at least this way you're not committed to keeping the dog or cat. If he does like the idea and all is working out, you can adopt your foster.
I do like the fostering idea. If you are in a situation where you can foster a dog or cat, it would be a great opportunity to show your boyfriend that they can be clean and fun to have around. If he still won't go for it, at least this way you're not committed to keeping the dog or cat. If he does like the idea and all is working out, you can adopt your foster.
greychins
NWI Chinchillas
Well, I suppose my case was different from a lot of others. It wasn't that we didn't have the time or space for more pets, it was simply that I had rescue chins that I had not bothered listing on my website or on other sites, and I actually (at that point) couldn't take in more rescues because all my rescue cages were full. If they'd been my pet chins, I would not have traded them for a dog, so I suppose this might have not been the greatest suggestion... however... I do know several people who have gotten rid of several small animals in order to get a larger animal like a dog or a cat. While some people may not like the suggestion, there are people out there that do it.....
RDZCRanch
RavenousDeadlyZombieChins
Dogs and cats always need to be discussed. I would just shower him with research and the idea of a foster dog or cat is a great idea. This is what I did early on in my relationship because my boyfriend had never been raised around animals. His only experience with anything four legged was through his friends and while a few were trained...most were not. He also knew my dad's dogs and my dad's dogs are terrors that are allowed to do whatever they please.
I rescued a dog that was abandoned at our vet office first with the intention of rehoming her. He got to be there to help with her care and training and realized that we could train a dog to NOT be like my dad's dogs. We ended up with two cats and two dogs. We discussed a third dog at length and decided together that since our cats and dogs work so well together that we want to keep them like that until they reach their older years. I am, however, allowed as many chinchillas as I want so long as it stays clean and doesn't smell (easy with the chins).
You do have to compromise but at the same time he needs to compromise as well. It needs to be a two way street where one of you isn't always giving up things in their life for the other to be happy. You both need to come to an agreement where you'll feel some satisfaction.
I rescued a dog that was abandoned at our vet office first with the intention of rehoming her. He got to be there to help with her care and training and realized that we could train a dog to NOT be like my dad's dogs. We ended up with two cats and two dogs. We discussed a third dog at length and decided together that since our cats and dogs work so well together that we want to keep them like that until they reach their older years. I am, however, allowed as many chinchillas as I want so long as it stays clean and doesn't smell (easy with the chins).
You do have to compromise but at the same time he needs to compromise as well. It needs to be a two way street where one of you isn't always giving up things in their life for the other to be happy. You both need to come to an agreement where you'll feel some satisfaction.
