some advice please

[boardinggamer]

So I know this is for family stuff but this is about my best friend which is close enough.

Me and my best friend Katie were really close. The "we tell each other EVERYTHING" kind of close, and probably closer then just that. well she was all I had left after losing all my friends for the combination of "coming out of the closet" and the rumors about me going around the school, which for the most part I don't know what they were just that they made people hate me (story for another time I guess). back to the point. Katie was all I had left after that and my parents divorce. My feelings for her grew to more then just friends (the only girl I ever had true feelings for) even though she didn't feel the same.

That's the background so you can understand how important she is to me. now for the main point to this. She moved to Florida a few weeks ago (I am in NY). and now I cant see her since I can't afford to go there and she can only visit here once in a while. Like I said above she is all I have left. I feel like I have NOTHING left now. I have my chinchilla Rinny but the connection isn't really that strong since I almost like taught myself to never get to close to people or pets to avoid the pain of losing them. I can't concentrate on anything anymore, I can't talk to people anymore, not even thinking about the saying "sometimes you need to lose something good to make room for something better" is helping which normally does but to me there can never be anything better then her.

Has anyone had to deal with anything like this? how did you get over it or is it even possible to. I still text her once in a while but its just not the same knowing I cant see her.

Writing(typing) about my problems helps me deal with them which is why I normally put them out there. I mean its all I have for advice since I have no one else to talk to about them with.

 

[Lirana]

Honestly, I've actually been wondering where you've been since you and I joined these forums around the same time. I remember when you were so excited to be getting Rin and the countdown until you were able to get your chin.

I have to say, I'm a little confused by your post. You say that you lost a lot of friends for "coming out of the closet." I'm not sure if this is in quotes because they think you're gay and you're not (since you say you have more than friend feelings for Katie), or if it's in quotes because you think it's a stupid term/phrase.

Anyway, I know this post is more about missing Katie than anything, but I think your sexuality is relevant. Why? Well, obviously you can't read "tone" on a message board, but your post sounds a bit depressed (actual depressed, not sad) and that you've been this way for a while. Keep in mind, I'm not a psychiatrist or anything of the sort, so I may be off-base. But, losing all of your friends over your sexuality (perceived or real) can't have been easy. On top of that, the divorce of your parents and now her moving away...

If you are covered under your mom's medical insurance or if you have your own, I would see about talking to a therapist. If that's not possible, try to find someone that you can talk to. Be it a church pastor, relative, old high school guidance counselor, or what have you.

As far as the actual pain of not having Katie around, yeah, that's gonna be bad for a while. Six months after I started dating my ex-bf, we were separated by 3000 miles for 5 months. These were 5 excruciatingly painful months for me. Especially since, as a super emotional person, I constantly felt like I missed him way more than he missed me (which was not true). We talked on the phone just about every single day. We also played games together so it was sort of like we got to hang out with each other. But bedtime was always the worst. Being alone with my thoughts...

As those 5 months went on, it did start to get a little easier. I know it's so cliche, but time will make things better. It might take a long time before it happens, but it will eventually happen.

Try focusing your energies on Rin. I know it's hard to take care of another creature when you feel you can barely take care of yourself, but pets are great healers of the heart if you'll let them in.

 

[boardinggamer]

Honestly, I've actually been wondering where you've been since you and I joined these forums...

I used the quotes because I never liked the closet thing. Just a stupid saying to me. and I got feelings for her when I liked both girls and guys but since then I lost my interest in girls, well all but her. Those feelings stuck with me.

I start going to therapy on Saturday actually. so I hope that works out. Just talking to people like that is hard for me since I am very uncomfortable with talking to people face to face. Even when I was in school going to see the school therapist I had a hard time opening up to him.

As for Rinny. I play with her every night and I do love her and everything, buts its like. I don't feel that connection I used to feel with my pets. In time I think that will come though.

and yeah depressed sounds about right. I was depressed for a few years during school and then when i stopped going things got better and I was ok until about last week when it all came back.

 

[Lirana]

I start going to therapy on Saturday actually. so I hope that works out. Just talking to people like that is hard for me since I am very uncomfortable with talking to people face to face. Even when I was in school going to see the school therapist I had a hard time opening up to him.

I'm glad to hear it. Opening up to a complete stranger can be hard, but sometimes it's easier than opening up to someone you already know. They're not going to judge you the way family and friends are. I really hope this works out for you.

:hug4: