Question for parents

[Jenn]

Parents, I need your advice. Brandon is 13 years old, almost 14. Josh is 11. Brandon suffers from seizures...They get to stay home alone if we are gone for an hour or less and staying in the same town. But we don't let them stay home alone if we head 20 minutes south, to the next town, Bellingham. We are headed to Bellingham today, and the boys begged us to let them stay home. We said no. Do you think we should have let them stay home alone, out here in the countryside, or do you think we are right in making them come with us? We are going to be gone for who knows how long, and possibly in a lot of traffic, making it difficult to get back in a hurry in case of an emergency. I'm just trying to figure out if I am holding on too tightly, or if I am being cautious and protective for the right reasons...

 

[3chins]

I may be an over protective mom but I wouldn't leave them for the longer trip. As my daughter showed me[first seizure at 9 years old,20-25 minutes long] seizures can happen anytime.
That is putting alot on the 11 year old if the older one has a seizure while you are gone.

 

[Sandi]

Because of the seizures, I wouldn't go far either. Is there a neighbor that is not too far, that the boys could run to in case of emergency?

 

[smhluvsmh]

My oldest was diagnosed with a heart issue at 15, so I feel your fear. If there isn't any family, friends or even close neighbors, I too would err on the side of caution with trips longer than 1/2 hour or so. At least until the younger one is capable and you all feel he could handle any emergency with his brother. Maybe run through different scenarios of emergencies and test them on how things should be handled for a while.

 

[Jenn]

The most I've done up to this point is allow the boys to stay home while I run to the grocery store or some quick errand close to home. Brandon's younger brother, Josh will be 12 in September, but it sounds like I'm not being too paranoid by not letting the boys stay home alone for longer trips. We really don't have anyone close by I can have the boys run to if something should happen. We've had weirdos in the area and who knows what emergency could happen. Brandon's seizures are minor - Partial Complex Seizures, but there is always the threat they could turn into a Grande Mal seizure and Josh certainly wouldn't know how to handle that.

I think I feel comfortable with erring on the side of caution. Thank you everyone for your input!

 

[smhufflepuff]

Agreed with the above.

Let me add one more option: There's a babysitting course offer through the Red Cross for 11-16yo kids. Even if you don't see either of your sons babysitting, per se, I'd recommend the course. It can help ensure they know what to do when they're home alone... even in the case of a seizure. I think between you running over various scenarios with them and the Red Cross doing so in a different way than you would (you know, the videos the role plays with other kids in front of an official instructor), they'll be better prepared to handle those short home-alone breaks. It's definitely NOT a substitute for you talking with your kids and your own judgment, but it can give you peace of mind that another adult who's in charge of determining if kids know enough to receive the certification card at the end has worked with your sons on the "what-to-do-if's" and (hopefully) said "yes, they know what to do."

 

[Jenn]

That is a great idea! Thanks for sharing!