lawyer needed...PLEASE HELP!!

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laws differ by state, so hopefully someone from CA will respond.

i don't know what your situation is, but all i can say is document everything! keep a notebook of what is said & done. take any photos if neceesary. keep any voice messages or text messages or any emails as possible evidence.

i dont need to do this with my son's father, as he is a stand up guy & great dad BUT i do this with my fiance's crazy baby mama!
 
mishellyshel said:
laws differ by state, so hopefully someone from CA will respond.

i don't know what your situation is, but all i can say is document everything! keep a notebook of what is said & done. take any photos if neceesary. keep any voice messages or text messages or any emails as possible evidence.

i dont need to do this with my son's father, as he is a stand up guy & great dad BUT i do this with my fiance's crazy baby mama!
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My husband and I went through a 3 1/2 year custody battle with his daughter.. In the end we won our case and got full physical and legal custody with permission to move her to California from Idaho. Mom only gets to see her 4 weeks through out the year... Mom made it real easy on us to get custody because she gave permission for her mom to sexually abuse my step daughter and take nudity pictures of her private parts...

My ex on the other hand... Is being a dush bag.. I want to get my kids full time with him only having them every other weekend again... I just don't know if what I have is good enough to ask for full custody back.. Here's a list of what I have on him:

1. he calls CPS and makes false reports.. The cases always close because they don't think what he is claiming is happening...

2. he refuses to bring my kids home when It states in our current order he is to be responsible for all transportation. I've had to call the cops on him to make him bring them back to me.

3. He changed their ER cards at school to make it so my husband and my dad can't pick up the kids from school... I've changed it back..

4. My kids are 7 year old boy and 11 year old girl.. They share a room while with him at his house.

5. His girlfriend always calls me up on the phone to yell and curse at me while my kids are right there with her..

6. his girlfriend tells my kids they don't have to listen to me and my husband while their at my house..

7. He refuses to let me enroll my kids in any kind of after school sport..

8. he's yelled at their school principal over something that wasn't a big deal..

Is this enough to ask for full custody back?
 
I highly doubt it. All that does is make him an annoyance, not a danger to the children. I would push pretty hard on the kids sharing a bedroom. That's a big no-no here.

I would contact a lawyer and have him do something about him not dropping them off and the girlfriend calling and swearing. That's contempt of court for the first part and harrassment for the second. Slap a restraining order on her if you have to.
 
tunes said:
I highly doubt it. All that does is make him an annoyance, not a danger to the children. I would push pretty hard on the kids sharing a bedroom. That's a big no-no here.

I would contact a lawyer and have him do something about him not dropping them off and the girlfriend calling and swearing. That's contempt of court for the first part and harrassment for the second. Slap a restraining order on her if you have to.
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Yeah it's a big NO No here to... I asked the CPS worker that came out to my house how old they have to be before they consider it a No No and she said no more then 6-7 years old. I also forgot to add that his girlfriend drives my kids and her infant child in the car without seat belts.. my daughter says that she makes her hold the baby on her lap while they drive because their car isn't big enough to fit my 2 kids her baby and her nephews in...
 
If you cannot get full custody (and I have no idea about any of that to be quite honest) what you really need to do is what is best for the kids. All of the adults need to suck it up and try to get along, for the kids. I am not in your shoes and I am not judging anyone, I don't know you or your situation. All I do know is that fighting and stress and pettiness can really take a toll on kids and their self-esteem and happiness and it's not fair to them. Please take this with the good intention that was meant. Sometimes when you are really angry at someone it is hard to take the high road but the bottom line is that what is important are the children and their health (mental and physical) and happiness. I wish you the best!
 
Parkerspetchins said:
If you cannot get full custody (and I have no idea about any of that to be quite honest) what you really need to do is what is best for the kids. All of the adults need to suck it up and try to get along, for the kids. I am not in your shoes and I am not judging anyone, I don't know you or your situation. All I do know is that fighting and stress and pettiness can really take a toll on kids and their self-esteem and happiness and it's not fair to them. Please take this with the good intention that was meant. Sometimes when you are really angry at someone it is hard to take the high road but the bottom line is that what is important are the children and their health (mental and physical) and happiness. I wish you the best!
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I completely understand and agree with you.. that's why when my ex's girlfriend calls me I just hang up on her, but she has come to my house and stood on my door step yelling and cursing at me... I refuse to fight in front of my children even my husband and I don't argue in front of the kids. I think what is best for the kids would to be with me and not their dad.. He is a good dad but his girlfriend causes everything negative to happen.. She is a very angry person and loves to fight with people.. Every time my kids are at their dads house she tries to turn my kids against me... And the only thing I know what to do about it would to get the kid full time.. I can't afford to hire another lawyer... We are still paying off the lawyer we hired for my husbands daughter...
 
In my opinion AND from personal experience, my recomendation would be to start calling DYFS (division of youth & family services) that is whats called in Jersey anyway.

after visiting the house they will probably require them to have different sleeping arrangements. It will be documented. And if & when the time comes to seek custody, the more times dyfs has to visit, the better it looks for you.

as for the transportation issue, i am not sure the distance between homes, but i would avoid the drama of the police, stick to the child support order and pick them up yourself exactly at the time he is to release them. hopefully it will be at a time very inconveinient for him. ;)

he can not refuse them after school activities, all he can refuse is to take them on his scheduled days.

the girlfriend is jealous and pure poison. i would watch out for that one and make sure you slather on the sweetness. only talk nice to her and about her in front of the kids.
they will learn when they are older the real deal.
 
mishellyshel said:
he can not refuse them after school activities, all he can refuse is to take them on his scheduled days.

the girlfriend is jealous and pure poison.
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I agree the girlfriend is poison that's why I want her away from my kids and them back with me full time...

As far as the after school sports, he can refuse.. It says in our current order that both parents have to agree to any after school activities, change in school, day care, ETC... So since he refuses I can't sign them up... Which sucks because my son wants to play base ball and my daughter wants to join volley ball...
 
Does the girlfriend live with him? As she is not his wife perhaps they can do something about the girlfriend staying there on nights the children are they.

Honestly though I don't think there is much you can do and I'm sorry for this. My ex-husband had my son baptized in the Catholic Church--I'm not Catholic. This bothered me to no end, as he picked God parents who promised to raise him Catholic should anything ever happen to my ex-husband. These so-called God parents don't even talk to him. So my ex flat out lied to God--LOL! Still I would never say I hope he burns in ****.

Divorce is difficult and hard--usually it's more so on the children than the parents but I don't think we realize that. The reason people get divorced is because they no longer love each other and most often no longer like each other--that leads to some nasty stuff in the case of children.

You could always try going back to court to have things changed, such as the agreement on after school activities.

I wish you luck in any case and hope your children do not suffer from this in the long run.
 
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