Dominancy..affecting relation?

[macygray]

Hi there, so I have a friend, Ive talked about her to a few in chat when it all gets too much to get adult opinions and other wise opinions too.

Have you ever had a bestfriend who you never wanted to lose, no matter what, they are like your leader, you naturally follow, but they are so dominant you can never go over them. They dont try to do that, its just the way it is......
like looking up to a big sister..or even a mother.

When they are sad or mad at you because something you, even YOUR fault, you feel as if YOU cant do anything to fix it and you have to wait until they end forcing themselves to fix their mood. They seem that impossible to work with, even when you both realise and talk about the problems..ie, she needs to open up and I need to know when and why she is sad because of something i did and know how to make it better. Apparently I give the impression that I don't care..I try to bring a calm approach to the situations..being a libra I suppose?

Well. Please. Talk about your hard friendships. I am sure you have all had that one friend..or more..that the relationship was very complicated at times, but still, you NEVER want to lose it. Its all you want really..

 

[Raindog]

I can totally relate to both you and your friend. I have a problem being able to tell people when I am upset. I have a problem with confrontation. So being aware of my weaknesses and playing to my strengths, lesson learned many times over, I write it out now. That way I can get my thoughts in order, I won't back down, or get sidetracked. Everything I want to say I can say. Maybe if she has a problem opening up, she may find it easier to write it down.

I also, as a libra, take the calm approach which has gotten me into trouble as well. Even at work. I just don't see the point of making a scene and apparently that can be misinterpreted as not caring. Next time you sense that she is upset, maybe you can you can send her a message saying that you noticed something might be wrong and you would like to help her fix it because you don't like seeing her unhappy. The preemptive strike might help showing you care.

Anyway, after all that, about my friend. I have a best friend who is very ADD and she doesn't take her medication in social situations all the time. Last time we hung out she was telling me a story and got upset when I looked away and then again when I moved the menus to the side of the table so the waitress would come because she felt I was not listening when I did these things. Then when I wanted to tell her something she was playing on her phone the whole time. I just sort of stopped talking and she didn't even notice. Sometime, on days like that, our relationship feels very one sided. It makes me sad because I want to share things with her but I feel like I have to fight to do so.

 

[Laurie]

Mae, TRUE friends are loving and forgiving. They do not ask of us anything that which we cannot give.

You need to ask yourself why--when this friend is dominating and seemingly hard to please--you cannot live without this person?

YOU should ALWAYS come first no matter what--please remember that.