Bonding

[trish57]

First, let me admit that I’m not a very patient person to begin with. With that said, I sometimes feel like I am not going to become part of Daphne and JoJo’s herd. I have had them now for 2 months, and I do know it can take a lot longer than that. Last week, at the 8-week mark, I decided that I was going to take Daphne out and hold her since she SOMETIMES lets me rub her belly for a minute before she starts barking at me. (I am not allowed to touch JoJo, but she came out onto my shoulder and she touches my face to get at my glasses or eyelashes when glasses aren’t on.)

Anyway, I took Daphne out to hold her. She was extremely squirmy, but she did settle down and let me pet her for a minute. When she started barking I put her back in the cage. I haven’t attempted that again, and feel like it should be a long time before I attempt again.

Every evening I sit on the floor in front of the cage and leave all doors open (FN double cage). They do get curious enough that they look like they may want to get out, but then I lean in and they go back in the cage. I have not gotten a pet fence to block off the bed yet, figuring it’s a little premature (plus having spent a small fortune so far on setup). I thought I had read that you shouldn't let them out until you've formed the bond or you'll never get them back in. Is that wrong?

What can I do to help the bonding process along? Am I doing something wrong? I’m thinking it may have been a bad idea to have taken Daphne out. Should I at least continue to try to rub her belly?

Also, on another subject, since they do not respond to their names yet, would it be ok to change a name? Or since they’ve been hearing their names for 2 months already, is that a no? I say their names to them MANY times every day. I’m rethinking JoJo, even though that was the name I chose first.

Any advice is appreciated!!!!

Thanks!
Trish

 

[Amethyst]

I know you said you aren't patient, but with chins that is what is needed, if you try to rush is you will end up going backwards. I would continue to take her out and pet until she settles down then put her back before she starts getting upset. She needs to learn that squirming isn't going to get you to let her go, but by being calm you wont be keeping her still. You also want to remember that chins are cold climate creatures, and humans are hot, we radiate a lot of heat so being near us isn't the most comfortable place for them for long. Also humans are oily, so petting them can leave small amounts of oily residue on their fur that takes time to get use to. Most chins aren't cuddly, and even mine who are very friendly don't like to be held long, I can scoop them up and they will sit near me, climb on me, and like pettings, just not for long periods of time like a bunny or a cat would. I would continue to give her belly rubs when she will let you. Chins are social creatures and grooming is part of their normal bonding process, so when you find out where she likes rubs and scratches, go for it, it's a way you can social "groom" (chins use teeth you use your fingers).

You could just use cardboard boxes to make a blockade for your bed, and I would go with something like that just in case they decide to get brave and come out. From the sounds of it they are ready to bolt one of these days, so it's best to have the room chin proofed just in case. I personally don't think it's a good idea to let them out if you can't catch them, unless you have time to sit around and wait for them to go back to the cage on their own. Even if you can get them back in the cage by getting them to jump in a box or dust bath, that's good enough. Chasing them around will hurt the bond you've formed, and you will have to earn their trust all over again.

Bonding can take months to years, it's something that builds over time. Think of it like building a friendship with another person, most friendships don't happen over night, they take time.

If they don't respond to their name go ahead and change it, most of the chins I've had either didn't come with names, or I didn't know what their names were before I got them. Honestly JoJo would kind of sound like no no, so that can be confusing. Another thing I do is try to let the pet choose their name to some extent, I make a list of names I like for that specific pet and read off names until I get a reaction.

 

[trish57]

I know I need to be patient with them. MOST of the time I do ok, but every so often I feel the need to touch them. I didn't think about my body temperature impacting them, in the winter at least. I am sometimes extra warm too. But I haven't held Daphne for more than a minute I'm sure, if that. Their room currently runs in the low to mid 60s with humidity in the upper 30s. More than that makes condensation on my windows overnight.

I will continue as I'm doing basically. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't damaging our relationship. I can wait it out as long as I know I'm going in the right direction. I just love those little tiny hands and fingers, almost as much as their big ears; heck, maybe more.

Hmmmm, JoJo = NoNo. That's a thought. There have been 2 times when I thought she reacted to her name, but I think they were both just coincidences. I went through a lot of names, but I wasn't looking for reactions from them; I would just say it in front of them and either like it myself or not so much. I may revisit some of those names. Funny, because JoJo wasn't the one in question in the beginning, it was Daphne.

In the meantime I ordered the playpen that you use. I don't know when I'll start to use it, but at least I will be ready when they are.

Thanks for your help!