having a really bad day.

[guiltyby_design]

Today started out alright but came to a hault when mom came home from the hospital. (my grandfather was getting his CT results & kemo)
He has a cancer that is extreamly rare in the united states and its in his liver of all places. =[ It's also in his lung.
They have No idea how long he has really had it and they found it in february at OSU cancer center. he just started kemo maybe in april, :cry3:
well he had a CT on his birthday (july 7th) and he went back today for the results. he hasnt shrunk any =[ i dont know what to do. I had myself convinced that the kemo was helping =[. and i keep tryign to tell myself that its good that it hasnt grown any, but,, this man raised me, he is like my dad he means more then anything in the entire world to me.
Im not looking for sympathy. I just needed someplace i could get everything out.

 

[addictedtochins]

Oh, I am so very sorry. I do know how you feel. I'm glad you shared this with us so you all will be in my thoughts and prayers. (hugs) Theresa

 

[guiltyby_design]

Thanks so much
That really did make me feel alot better,
Best wishes.

 

[Adhafera]

I'm sorry hun. You grandfather and yourself are in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[eroomlorac]

I am very sorry you have to go through this. It is an awful feelling when someone you love so much has something so serious. All I can tell you is to be there for him if you live nearby. Love him and make sure to TELL him you love him and hope and pray what the doctors can do for him work. But mostly it's just in God's hands and you have to trust that the path your Grandpa is led down will be guided by God's love.

 

[lauralynne]

I'm very sorry you're going through this. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[guiltyby_design]

Thanks everyone for your kind words.
I went to kemo with him today & after what the doctors told him yesterday he has became very depressed. and thats really not good at all. Last time when OSU wasnt doing anything for him he got super depressed and he went downhill fast. and when Holzer Cancer Center started doing something he came out of that and got somewhat better. and ive tried and tried to tell him (even tho i still cant convince myself) that even tho is wasnt shrinking its not growing. and thats a good thing. but he dont wanna believe me. & my grandma is in denial. she thinks he's getting soo much better. when i watched him get his kemo today i cried like a baby. & im 18. I dont normally cry either. i felt so bad for crying in front of him. i held it in as along as i could. it was simply terriable.

 

[Rickman]

My mother just passed from the exact same thing, ony it wasn't caught until it's advanced stages! She was 82, it was inoperable, and she tried 2 different chemo treatments that almost killed her, back in March! After stopping the treatments, she was fine until the beginning of the month, and went downhill, fast!
I'm not relating this to make you feel worse, or worry more - just to explain what can happen.
Prepare for the worse, and hope for the best!
We're all different and chemo can do wonders! I survived lymphoma with it! If it's stopped the growth of the tumors, that's a good thing - sometimes they can "tweak" the chemicals if they know they're on the right track, and get shrinkage!
Whatever happens, good luck to Gramps and keep us posted!
And remember - things could be worse!

 

[guiltyby_design]

You didnt make me feel worse.
and im trying so hard to prepare for the worst, but omg its just so hard. not my papa *cries*

 

[Rickman]

You don't mention his age, but I imagine we're pretty close!
I approached it as "just one more hurdle in life I've got to get over!"
Seems to have worked, so far - I've been cancer-free for 6 years!
As they say, "no one has a expiration date stamped on their foot!"

 

[guiltyby_design]

He is 64 or 65 i really cannot remember >.< im pretty positive its 65 tho. He just turned 65 on July 7th.