Dealing with kids

[JennyBug]

For those who don't know, I'm a seventh grade English teacher. I deal with 12 - 13-year-olds every day, not to mention the fact that I coach the 8th grade basketball team.

I wanted to ask you parents out there a question: how does dealing with your own kids differ from dealing with other parents' kids? My husband and I are getting to the point in our lives of thinking of having children, but honestly, working around kids every day is becoming the greatest form of birth control ever! I don't know if it's the difference between how I was raised and how students now are raised, but the attitude, disrespect, and overall apathy toward the future that I see every day is frightening.

Any thoughts on what might be going on with these kids today? Is it just me?

 

[mishellyshel]

It is a whole different story when they are "your" kids. You have raised them, you understand them, you know them and you have this crazy sick desire to protect them from all harm be it physical or mental.
I have step kids and they are not raised they way i was raised or how i am raising my son and i find it hard to deal with them sometimes. I try & remember it is not their fault that their mom is a useless and their home situation is undesirable.....so i try and make their lives as normal as I can when they are here and i do expect respect. if i dont get it i take it up with their father!
The kids today are brought up in a world of electronics and having pretty much everything done for them. As technology advances things get easier. My grandpa used to tell me how he had to walk miles to school or how little food they have. Now I have stories that I tell my son, like we didnt have cable tv and HAD to play outside or how gas was less than a dollar. and i am sure he will have stories to tell his children, like how the microwave took 3 minutes to boil water or something we are used to now.

 

[Parkerspetchins]

I can't answer your question because I don't know what parents are teaching their children these days but I will tell you this...

Your own child will be the greatest thing in the whole wide world! You will teach your child to be respectful, kind, and well behaved...and even when he/she isn't you'll still believe you have the best child in the world LOL. Do not go by other people's children, yours will not be like that! As a side note, I highly recommend "Love and Logic" as a parenting tool ). Children need a lot of guidance but also need to be able to make their own decisions from a very young age. If you teach them how to make the right decisions then I believe that your child will be respectful, kind, and well behaved because they want to be, not because you force them to.

 

[JennyBug]

Don't even get me started on the electronics world - texting has all but killed the formal essay! (i think u should go 2 ur congressman and protest - seriously, it's that bad)

I know that raising your own is always different from watching others' kids, but I'm starting to fear what the school systems will be like by the time my child enters the educational world. Indiana doesn't have a standard in education that requires children to learn cursive, which means I HAVE to print, otherwise I have students who can't read it. I guess I'm more worried about the future of the U.S. than raising my own children, since I know I will raise them to be respectful and to value education.

It's just a nagging thought that has been rattling around in my brain for a while. With some of the students I have, I really worry about the workforce of the future! There seems to be little work ethic and A LOT of apathy toward anything that does not revolve around them. Maybe it's just the age group...

 

[Ruby]

You could always homeschool I started homeschooling two years ago and next year I will be taking a couple english classes at the local community college, as I go into 9th grade.

 

[Rebecca]

I have no children, so I don't know what it's like raising kids, but I did just leave the public school system a few years ago. Middle grades are definitely the worst in my opinion. The children are just starting to seriously break the rules, and are trying to see just how far they can go. They're obnoxious, apathetic and rude, but from my experience most grow out of it. Almost everyone in my grade was this way in middle school, but most have grown out of it by now.

As for the grammar, I have to believe they will learn in time. If you really don't like the public school system in your area, you could look for a charter school in your area, catholic schools tend to be pretty cheap (and I know many non-catholics who attend catholic school), or homeschooling.

 

[6Dusters]

Your own children will be the product of your own values. My husband and I have high expectations of proper behavior and morals. In public and at home. Thus we have a wonderful well rounded daughter.

We demand respect as her parents. And my husband and I back one another when she is disrespectful.
We remind our child to say please and thank you when she is away from us during her social outings . Play dates, parties ect.
We have shown her over her young life what is expected from her in public.
My husband and I are very selective about children and families our daughter comes in contact with.
Since the beginning of her public education,we have told her that school is for learning and not for playing around.
My husband and I are hands on parents ALL THE TIME.
And we have taught her at an early age about modesty in her dress.

Children are a product of their environment for the most part. I've seen some really "rotten Johnny's" in public and at school.

 

[tkc1038]

6 Dusters I totally agree,
I have three children and they are Honestly the best behaved in school, outings, formal gatherings you name it they know that if they dont act as they should I am not above taking a privledge away. I think because of this they are also the first ones picked on and bullied but they are also taught that they dont ever have to put up with it. I refuse to have Cable/satalite and I have no gaming system within my home, one computer for research and contact with family and friends, which is monitored. My 13 yr old talked her father into a cell phone with un limited text, but if she texts me with text talk I will respond "What I am unfamiliar with your language" please write me a note that I can understand. LOL I can see her fuming on the other end. I also believe that Humor and a shoulder that will listen and not critizise helps alot. Other than that I suggest finding a room that has a locking door and using it for a bit of "quite time" it has helped me tremendously.

 

[chinclub]

I know where you are coming from! My oldest is 12 and last year her school asked if I would consider being a substitute. I said no. I have been around her friends and some of them are just wild! It is the product of lazy parents that don't follow through on discipline. If a child knows there are no consequences they have no reason to behave.

I went to college for early childhood education but opted not to do the public school thing with our kids because of the schools in our area. I was going to home school but we found a wonderful private Christian School that goes K-12 and only allows 12 kids per class. So there are alternatives to think about.

 

[AZChins]

I don't have any children. Every day I get happier that I don't have them listening to everyone else complain non-stop about their kids. I don't have to worry about picking them up from school or worrying about dressing them in the right clothes and all that parent crud.

Right now I am happy because we don't have to worry about putting anyone through college or pay for ice skating or horseback riding lessons. I don't think that we could do it financially without always being very stressed. I don't understand why anyone has children because of the huge expense to it and all the worry. Not to mention not getting to sleep in.... Think about having to pay for car insurance for them when they turn 16 and NEED to drive.

And yes, being around other people's kids! OMG. They can be so terrible...I've heard them smart off to their parents and the mom or dad does nothing. My parents would smack me right then and there regardless of who was around if I ever sassed them or there was a hint of sass. I don't know what is wrong with kids today, but I could never get away with what they get away with. Not to mention - my parents would have never let me have a cell phone or any of the fancy stuff kids have nowadays.

So, I don't know... 25 is young...take your time deciding. This is a lifetime commitment! I am completely undecided on if I ever want to have children, I think I am way too immature to have a little life depending on me every single day. The chins are easy...and they can't talk back.